So people seem to think that I'm depressed at the moment and therefore, need hugs.

Now, it's not that I resent the hugs in any way shape or form [hugses always = goodness] but I'm not depressed or low at all, just thinking, a lot, about ... stuff.

At some point I'm going have to put some of these thoughts down onto 'paper', at which point I may (read: will probably) post them, or part of them, on here for comment. The problem is with finding the time at the moment.

Might be able to when I'm in Cornwall week after next.

In the meantime, thanks for the hugs and good wishes, always appreciated. :-)


Mar. 12th, 2009 12:02 am
...what exactly *is* the point?...
Tony Jones has finally redeemed himself after the Neil Young - Heart of Gold fiasco of two years ago, and how! :-)

For those who don't know what I'm talking about, today was the last day of the Cambridge Film Festival and Tony Jones is the director of the festival. Every year, they have a surprise film on the last day, where you pay your money, turn up and see a film which is a complete surprise. Past films have included things like A Cock and Bull Story. The films are normally reasonably pleasant, but not necessarily something that you'd choose to see otherwise.

Then, two years ago, they showed the Neil Young thing. I'm sure I ranted enough about it at the time so I won't do so again, but I left after fifteen minutes and waited for the others in the bar until it was over.

I didn't go to the surprise film last year, but Eeson somehow managed to persuade me this time around. Am I glad he did.

I've just been to what I believe was the UK premier of Burn After Reading, the new Coen brothers film. It is absolutely excellent and I recommend it to everyone. In fact, I fully intend to see it again when it's released nationwide on the 17th Oct.

Combined with seeing How to Lose Friends and Alienate People on Friday, it's been a pretty good weekend for films all round!

P.S. I have the interview for my job tomorrow. Wish me luck! :-)
Back from the Con.

It was a good weekend, although extremely busy and I'm exhausted. I got home around half two, unloaded the car, then fell asleep for about four hours. I'm still shattered, so my next move is something to eat and drink then back to bed again; the unpacking can wait until tomorrow, when reality will reassert itself with a vengance I feel.

I'll write a fuller assessment of the Con when I'm feeling a little more awake and coherent. Sock Wars terms anyway.

My socks arrived from Canada yesterday, and they're beautifully made, if a little garish. And, I'm sure it should be against the rules to get your mum to knit them for you!

So I am officially out of the battle for this year. I managed to make it down to the last 350 though, and lasted over a month, which I'm still amazed at. And...I now know how to make socks, so I'm going to be making lots more from now on, especially as I forgot to take a photo of the first ones I made before I sent them to my victim, so I'll have to knit another pair simply to show you how nice they were.

My one regret is that I didn't get killed by Starbuck in the end. Ho-hum, same place, same time, next year folks.
So the quiz is over.

Guess where we placed? :-)
We have a quiz this evening at work, but we can't come up with a team name.

Any suggestions?
So, Addenbrookes Hospital is having an Open Day on the 10th May, and in the Main Reception area there is a big sign up listing the attractions available on the big day.

Amongst them is 'Visit the Mortuary'

It almost makes me wish that I wasn't planning on going back to Norfolk that weekend...
I can't wait for today to be over. I am sooooooo looking forward to relaxing this weekend.

Keep your fingers crossed that I'm allowed to do so. :-o
Firstly, a big, big thank you to everyone who posted such positive comments in my previous two posts. They do make a real difference and I love you all. *hugs*

Secondly, my Mum realised that she'd left the recorder attached to the phone yesterday and removed it, then realised that there was a recording on it of a phone call between my dad and my brother that had to have been made on Saturday evening or sometime on Sunday (probably while she was spending the day with me) as my brother mentioned the fact that she'd rung him and he'd hung up on her. She can't hear my brother very well, but my Dad was blatantly lying about her to him. Telling him things like she's insisting that he pay all the bills for the house (she's just asked him to pay half the mortgage and to repay his own credit cards; plus she's asked him to tell her how much the household bills are so that she can give him half the money for that).

He also thinks that 'she needs help'. That is truly amazing. I can't quite believe that someone I thought I knew well could be so thick as to believe that standing up for her grand-children is indicative of mental illness. It's not as if she was round there threatening the bastard with a knife or anything.

Apparently, he told my brother several times that this wasn't his (my brother's) fault and not to feel guilty about anything. At least that makes me feel slightly better about my brother, he obviously does realise that he is at least partly to blame, although I have him fourth on my list at the moment.


You know what the really annoying thing about this is? The fact that I can't go for more than about five minutes before I start thinking about it again. I have a really complicated task to sort out at work this week and I need to be able to concentrate on it dammit! It's just so frustrating.

Several people have now offered me kipping space if I want to get away for a while. I would absolutely love to but it would leave my Mother all on her own - she has a few friends in Norfolk, who've been great, but all her family is back in Hampshire - and I'm loathe to go too far in case something else happens and she needs a big hug and to see a friendly face (which is what happened at the weekend).

So thank you if you are one of those who have made such an offer. I may still take you up on it, but not for several weeks, until everything has calmed down a bit and people are (hopefully) less emotional. That's assuming I haven't had a complete nervous breakdown before then of course.
Adapted (and blatantly nicked) from [ profile] daibhid_c's journal.

What we have here is the top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing’s users. As in, they sit on the shelf to make you look smart or well-rounded. Bold the ones you've read, underline the ones you read for school, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish. Mark with an asterix those you own but have never read.

cut for length )
I'm surprised that there are so many Neil Gaiman books on the list, but then I suppose I am a bit of a fan and wouldn't dream of having one of his books on my shelf and not reading it. :)
Just to let people know, I have just deleted the message I posted yesterday. This is not because I regret posting it, because I don't. It's because I don't want to be reminded of it every time I come to this site, and if I leave it up I will be.

I have saved a copy of the wonderful comments people left. I cannot begin to express how much better they have made me feel about this whole thing. It doesn't solve anything or make the situation better in any way, but just knowing that I'm not crazy to be supporting my Mother over this makes a huge amount of difference. Thank you all so very much.

If any of you didn't manage to read the post in the past twenty-four hours and would like to, please send me an e-mail and I'll send it to you.


Apr. 18th, 2008 06:41 pm
Just to add to my emotional turmoil this week, who should I bump into on my way home? Richard.

I haven't seen him for nearly three years, and if I'd been feeling more up to it I would have stopped to catch up, but I just didn't feel that I could cope with that on top of everything else this week. He probably thought that I was being very rude when I just said, "Hi" and then ran away, which is a shame, but I'm just not up to anything more at the moment. Hopefully I'll bump into him again when I'm feeling a bit better.

I have to find some time to call my father some time this weekend and let him know exactly what I think of his decision to put the feelings of his mother and sister above those of my Mother, me and, more importantly, the safety of his grandchildren. I'm curious actually as to exactly what he's going to say about it all.

I've considered calling my brother as well, but I can't think of anything to say to him except, "Look what you've done, you idiot, I hope you're proud of yourself!"

(I know that this post is very cryptic and won't make a lot of sense to most people. I'm considering very seriously whether to just post all the details and bring everything out in the open once and for all, but I have to be sure that it's the right thing to do, as I won't be able to take it back once I do.)
Someone has just signed up for this year's Nanowrimo with the username 'thepenismightier'.

Yes, it's already been pointed out to her...
First, thanks very much to everyone who replied to my question about domain name providers (especially Pol for kindly offering hosting). I eventually went for and am now the proud owner of lmbarber{dot}co{dot}uk, and the mail forwarding will send anything sent to that domain on to my gmail acount for the forseeable future. :-)

I'll decide what to do website wise later in the year.

So, Nanoedmo is now over, and I somehow managed to scrape together 50 hours of editing time in order to win. This despite the fact that on Saturday morning I was still only at 30 hours!

It's been a busy weekend.

I have 10 chapters which are pretty much good to go. (Actually they started as 8 and became 10.) Just a couple of small facts that I have to look up, then I need to get someone who knows about armed response units to read over the relevant bits.

Only 13 more chapters to edit, a few of which are 10k+ so I'm not looking forward to them, they'll have to be split at least once.

Interesting thing is that the editing process is automatically reducing the first draft by around 10%, which according to Stephen King is one of the golden rules of editing:

Second draft = First draft - 10%.

I might actually be ready to let someone else see it by June. :-o

On the writing front, I've just broken 150k, most of which has been on one story, which is now at 135k and counting. That's halfway through my goal for the year already. I thought that the current scene was going to be the last, but it can't be. There's another character that I have to say a bit more about, because he's very important in the later stories, and at the moment he hasn't been in it much at all. So there'll be at least another 10k I think.

The good thing is that I know that a lot of what I've written is waffle and repetition and so about a quarter of it can be hacked out straight away once the editing phase starts.

I have zero enthusiasm for work today. I got in late and am just sitting here faffing when I should be getting information together for people and ringing the Home Office. Hopefully I'll be more energized after lunch.

Oh, one more thing. If anyone ever asks, I want Apocalyptica's Farewell to be played at my funeral. It's just soooooo beautiful and if anything's capable of bringing me back, it'll be that. :-)
I've decided that the time has come for me to get my own domain name and I've checked that the name I want is available, but I need some advice on how to go about getting it. There are so many different companies out there that it's just completely overwhelming me with info. :-o

Can anyone recommend a company that I can buy the name from and who also does web hosting and e-mail hosting (or at the very least re-direction)? Obviously cheaper is preferred, but I'd rather pay a bit more for a reliable service to be honest.

You can tell I've never had to do this before can't you? :-)
loriba: (Earth)
Wow, I am almost glad that I have a stinking cold and my streaming nose and pounding head is keeping me awake.

Just before 1am, we had an earthquake, and I've never experienced one before. It was so freaky. I was lying in bed, doing a bit of writing because I haven't been able to sleep, and the bed jerked strongly from side to side several times.

The weirdest thing is that virtually nothing else in the room seemed to move, just the main lampshade was left swinging afterwards.

I was beginning to think that I'd imagined it, but they've just reported it on the main News.
I tried to change my address for a credit card this morning and was told that they couldn't change it unless I had the card on me. I haven't seen the card since I moved house 6 months ago.

Oh well, it's not as if I actually use it. The thing is that I have another card attached to the same account and I can find that, but they won't accept that, they need the other one, for some unknown reason!

Quick question: Anyone on here on I'm looking for people to friend.
So the stomach cramps have stopped and I've just eaten something and feel absolutely fine again. Long may it continue. Maybe it was this 24-hr stomach bug that's been going around.

In other news, the writing is still going well and I've almost finished Darius's back story and now have a much better idea of where the main story is going.

I've arrived at the point where I've forced myself to write every day so often, that I now feel very odd and guilty if I get to 11pm without having written at least two pages. This was the point that I really wanted and needed to get to, so I'm very happy about that. Let's just hope that nothing happens to get me out of the habit again.

Now I just need to do the same with exercise (particularly swimming), although walking 1.6 miles to and from work every day is already much better than nothing.


Feb. 15th, 2008 05:59 pm
Am sick :(

This is not good, but as it only seems to be affecting my digestive system, it means that I can still think, and therefore, write and read (and surf).

I'm considering taking out a subscription to Interzone magazine. (and maybe black static too). I can't afford it, but when has that ever stopped me.
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